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Saturday, October 16, 2010

Why I hate Monica (and the writers)-Part 2


Monica's obsession about the wedding ruins everything.
  1. 701: On their engagement night, Monica is obsessed about it being her night; yes, she has a right to be happy, especially after that proposal trouble last season, but tone it down, woman! You're getting more annoying than Janice ever was!
  2. 702: Monica won't let Chandler have any say in the wedding plans, even though he protests more than once in this episode, and this season. Yes, most grooms don't care about planning the wedding, but Chandler isn't like most guys. He likes getting manicures and having poultry for pets. And how dare Monica expect Chandler to spend all his savings on the wedding?! Chandler has to remind her that there's more to marriage than the wedding, and after they make up, she ruins their touching moment by insisting that they have a pet dog in their future house. Sure, Monica is genuinely allergic to cats, but she could at least meet Chandler halfway (like letting him have the birds instead)! Discuss things first, instead of making unilateral decisions. In an equal relationship, both partners' opinions have to matter.
  3. 703: Chandler gets glasses and everyone (inexplicably) thinks that he's always worn glasses. I hate the fact that the writers would come up with an insulting plot where all his friends don't know him at all, but I especially hate it that not even Monica, his fiancée, knows any better than the rest of the gang.
  4. 705: Monica takes her engagement picture with Joey, instead of Chandler. I hate the writers and Monica and Chandler and Joey for this. What self-respecting guy would let his fiancée take engagement pictures with someone else? And have them published in a newspaper for all to see? No matter how bad Chandler's smile turned out in the photos, Monica did not need to replace Chandler in the picture, nor wonder what her and Joey's kids would look like; they could have just sent in an announcement without a picture, you know. I don't get why Joey would do such a thing to Chandler, either. That's why I altered this incident in my Love Boat story. Plus, the writers shot the continuity to hell because on all past and future occasions when Chandler is in front of a camera, he smiles just fine.
  5. 708: Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs. See the entries for episodes 620 and 702.
  6. 711: Monica can't even treat her family right. She gets offended about not receiving an invitation to her cousin Frannie's wedding, and she forces Ross to cancel his date and take her as his guest. She tells Ross that she'll be nice, but actually has every intention of sabotaging the wedding. If blood relations mean so much to you, Mon, why would you ruin Frannie's wedding day? You might have been close to Frannie once, but people grow apart, which is why you didn't get invited to Rachel's wedding to Barry. Also, Janice already tried in 706 to invite herself to Monica and Chandler's wedding, so why can't Monica see how wrong and obnoxious it is for her to force her way into Frannie's wedding reception? Monica makes the other guests uncomfortable with her obsessive talk, then she ambushes Frannie, only to find out that the groom was an ex-boyfriend. You'd think Monica would have at least looked at the groom's name on the wedding invitation, assuming that Ross let her see it, or asked Ross who Frannie was marrying out of curiosity, if nothing else. But it's clear that Monica is only obsessed about herself all through this episode. I swear, she literally is more annoying than Janice, and I hope Frannie made Monica grovel for forgiveness.
  7. 716: I hate the writers for The Truth About London. Why did they have to revamp the London incident at all? It was better when we assumed that Monica got drunk and depressed and went home with him from the rehearsal dinner. I don't want to hear how Chandler was a gentleman who at first walked her back to her room, and that Monica came to Chandler's room later, looking for Joey. I don't want to see Monica and Chandler stopping their kisses to say how it doesn't feel weird. Gee, what a subtle way to say "we're meant to be together"! NOT. I don't want the writers to foreshadow love this early in their relationship. It's bad enough that some CnM fans think they've secretly been in love as early as Thanksgiving 1988! Shouldn't Monica cutting off Chandler's toe be as traumatizing to him as Chandler peeing on Monica's jellyfish sting? Shouldn't it be a real turn off, and make them regard each other as just friends for years? I hate this unnecessary, horrible episode.
  8. 718: Monica gets anxious about never getting to sleep with someone else, and she expects Chandler to feel the same, like a typical guy. Newsflash: Chandler is not a typical guy; you're supposed to know him and love him for it, just like he knows and loves you, despite your weird obsessions and meanness. When Monica invites him to express concerns about the wedding, Chandler again says that he doesn't like the flowers and she yells (why does she have to yell?) "You're wrong! The centerpieces are fine!" then moves on to her sexual concerns, because it's all about her. He comforts her very sweetly and similarly to how he comforted her when she wanted to prove that they were as hot as Phoebe and Gary in season 5. Why doesn't Monica ever see how lucky she is to have him?
  9. 722: Although Monica does a positive thing by making Chandler reconcile with his dad, I hate how she takes the opportunity to lord her power over him. "Now that you're marrying me, you don't get to win anymore." Hello? In a marriage, shouldn't it go 50-50 with fights, or at least 60-40? Monica seems to think it's her right to win 100% of all fights from now on. And does anyone find it odd that Chandler tells a story here of his father going to high school swim meets dressed as Carmen Miranda, when 1) as a childhood smoker, Chandler would hardly have the lung capacity to swim competitively, and 2) the Bings have been portrayed as neglectful parents who don't attend Chandler's school functions? (See episode 614, where neither of Chandler's parents came to Parents' Day in the first grade.) Besides, Chandler reveals here that he stopped keeping in touch with his dad because "it's all very Cats in the Cradle." Cats in the Cradle is a song about a father not having enough time for his son, and the adult son becoming too busy to see the father. Pick a version of his childhood, and stick with it!
  10. 724: In her wedding vows, Monica calls Chandler her prince and her soul mate, twice. Given that she doesn't believe in soul mates in episode 816, is she lying through her teeth right now? Or does she have a short memory? Or does she actually believe in soul mates, but was just choosing to agree with Chandler in 816? Even if she was trying to make him feel better about Don, Monica could have said much better things to him. I covered this in chapter 3 of TOW All The Lobsters, but Monica should have basically said, "Phoebe's not right about Don. You're my soul mate, Chandler, even if you don't believe in that stuff. Let me convince you right now." She sure as hell shouldn't have said "We work hard" as if their love was an awful chore. If anyone's been working hard and making sacrifices in this relationship, it's Chandler, not you Mon.

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